Be a Wrap Artist, Fool:
-Get your hands on a nice big roll of commercial gift wrap (papermart.com, eBay, etc.), white butcher or kraft paper. Use this for all your gifts – lots less to think about!
-Use a glue gun for ribbon, bows, package toppers, etc. Super fast and sturdy.
-Thinking outside the gift box: Faux flowers, leaves, greens are cheap & impressive gift toppers. Ditto pine cones & acorns, sculptural twigs, sprigs of shrubbery

Yummy Seasonal Treats Guests Love:
Caramel Apple Cider  Add a tablespoon or so of sweetened condensed milk to a mug of hot apple cider. Stir with cinnamon stick. If you’re not a friend of Bill W., a shot of cinnamon schnapps sends this one over the moon. Yum.
Mei & Me Mimosas: Serve cider and champagne in a fluted glass for brunch. SO good.
Simple Nibbles: Pair plump dried apricots (dip halfway in white chocolate to gild the lily) with roasted salted almonds in a pretty dish. Simple, elegant, satisfying.

Heart & Soul
Here’s the talk I give myself every holiday: People are unpredictable & rarely act in expected ways. Be flexible. Be ridiculously easy to please. Lower your expectations like a yogi lowers his heartbeat to almost nothing. Remember the mom often sets the tone of the day so let stuff go. Be happy. Go all out only if it brings you joy. In years to come, people may not remember the details but they’ll remember how they felt when they were with you. Have a beautiful Christmas knowing you are here for a reason and loved beyond your comprehension by the creator of the Universe. Amen!

Home-made Cold Pack: Fill a sturdy plastic  bag with Dawn dishwashing liquid or corn syrup. Keep in freezer for times of physical or emotional trauma.

1. A limited or neutral palette

2. Votives

3. Branches

4. Mirrored tiles or mirrors

5. Fresh fruit

6. Whatever’s plentiful and in season (rice, shells, pebbles, apples, nuts,hydrangeas)

7. Yards of Fabric (o.99 remnant table at Mill End or Hancock)

8. MonogramIMG_0049r.jpg

9. Spray Paint (white or metallics)

10 Computer w/ Printer

Easy Elegant Party Tips

Food, Glorious, Food!

Rethink time of reception. A gorgeous wedding brunch (egg dishes, fruit, coffee cakes, muffins & champagne mimosas) can cost less than half of a traditional dinner. Plus, you can probably forgo the open bar – how about fancy coffee or espresso drinks instead? Guests love having the rest of the day free.

A glamorous evening dessert reception with champagne and dessert buffet looks like a million bucks -plus everyone loves dessert!

For spring or summer, a fun picnic box lunch can be made ahead of time and saves tons of clean-up.

What’s a hot trend coming to us from the coasts that we all can get behind Cupcakes! How cool would it be to fill one of those Wilton cupcake racks (rent) or a footed pedestal plate with cupcakes and set in the middle of each guest table? Each guest gets their own yummy moist wedding cupcake for dessert. Cupcakes are cheaper to produce than cake plus you avoid the cake serving charge added by the servers….oh, and no extra expense for guest table centerpieces. I’m dying for somebody to try this – I think it’s original, fresh, and fun.

Pasta Bar! I recently had an open house for over 100 people. I had 2 steam table size pans of lasagna (made ahead of time) a chicken alfredo, hot garlic bread,bagged chopped romaine Caeser salad with Newman’s Own salad dressing and a ton of homemade croutons. My family donated dessert (platters of homemade cookies and bars) and I served ice water, lemonade and coffee. People were so happily surprised (what? no cheese and coldcut tray?) plus the whole thing cost about $5/person.

HELP! If you are organizing the reception yourself, do not skimp on hiring or enlisting help during the reception itself. Replenishing food & drink, answering questions, discreet clean up, finding extra napkins: you need at least 2 capable people working the reception and sheilding you from drama.Older teens are fine (tons of energy and usually thrilled with $10-$20 bucks/hour) but they can require a little more direction than college age or the completely capable church ladies if reception is at the church.

Limit color palette to 2 colors at the most. Different shades of the same color always looks rich and expensive.

Tips for Elegant Easy Decor

Ask yourself, What is plentiful? Plentiful usually equals affordable. For example: dried rice is the quintissential wedding symbol. Buy a big bag at the asian grocery and use it to fill glass cups, platters and dishes adding candles or white branches for drama. Ditto for play sand from the lumbar yard. Fill containers with clean, white sand, add a pillar candle or votives and stud sand with seashells, sand dollars or starfish. How about big bowls of gorgeous apples in the fall? Lightly polish with vegetable oil for a beautiful sheen, add a sprig of greenery.?

Don’t worry about decorating the whole hall. Have one or two dramatic focal points. Whatever your decor, it will have lots more impact heaped abundantly in one place than it would spread skimpily here and there throughout the room. This is a wedding feast, a celebration, so creating a feeling of abundance makes everyone feel like they’ve been to the party of the year.

Easy effective focal points are achieved with yards of fabric draped on a backdrop and puddled on the floor. Add a floodlight for uplighting and you’ve got elegant drama galore. (suspend fabric from the metal acoustical tile ceiling supports with bent paper clips hooked into fabric or find another tall support like an old AV movie screen.

Fabric may be cut into large squares to anchor centerpicces as well as bring color and interst to guest tables. Cut long runners for cake, punch, or gift tables. Finish by pressing raw edges under with a steam iron. Secure with iron-on hem tape or fabic glue. You can even hot glue thicker fabric. Add tassels or embellishmnets with glue. Go to upholstery/decorator’s fabric remnant table for low cost material.

Don’t overlook non traditional sources. For example, fabric can be found: Clearanced velvet curtains, toile shower curtains,thrift shop tablecloths or even snow white burlap can add texture and interest to your tablescape. Lightweight satins, silks or drapery sheers look gorgeous swirled and draped.

Big pots of bare branches look amazing when uplit or festooned with tiny twinkle lights If it’s winter wedding, spray painting the branches white looks incredible. A liberal sprinkling of white glitter while the paint is wet looks even better.

In general, branches (free) are the tanks of the broke decorator’s arsenal. Branches are inherently sculptural and their wild, organic forms provide contrast not only to the soft linens but the hard shininess of plates and glasses. Swirl them into free form wreaths securing with wire for individual centerpieces. Combine with votives or a hurricane candle or even tuck a few blooms (real or permanent) amongst the twigs.

Spraypainting branches gold, silver or white looks great. And remember the SJD mantra: Go glittered or go home!

Buy a box of mirrored tile from Home Depot or Menard’s. Making mirror the base for your centerpeice automatically visually doubles the centerpeice and candlelight. If you have time, pick up old mirrors at thrift shops or garage sales. Even the fakey plastic framed ones look spectacular when the frames are all painted a uniform color and they are set on the table as a centerpiece base.

Use produce for decor. Fruits start as flower blossoms, right? Talk to the grocery store produce manager about special ordering you some items. He may be able to find you a good price on a case of smaller lemons (not so desirable for the consumer but adorable for the decorator) a case of pears, champagne grapes, etc. Filling rounded clear glass bowls, cylinders, or hurricanes with cranberries and limes or lemons and a sprig of greenery then adding water is just about the most gorgeous thing ever. The water magnifies the fruit and makes the colors pop. Heaping grapes (different varieties or not) on a pedestal dish adds height to the table as well as a wild organic element for contrast.

Unshelled walnuts,pecans, and especially almonds -a traditional Italian good luck symbol- may be heaped on platters, in bowls or hurricanes to anchor candles, branches or to cover base of flower pot topiary.

Sparkling sugared fruit piled onto a pedestal looks magical. Just beat an egg white (or to be ultra safe some reconstituted egg white powder) until foamy. Add a bit of water. Dip in any kind of fruit. Sprinkle good old granulated sugar over all. The sugar mutes the fruit’s colors creating delicious hues of soft plum, barely there green and the prettiest pink (strawberries and cranberries) you ever did see.

Create your own pedestal dish in a snap. Find some inexpensive stemware or footed dessert dishes at a (wait for it) thrift store, garage sale, or dollar store. Hot glue a clear glass plate on top of the glassware. Tada! It is relatively sturdy and the hot glue peels right off after the party. It really does! Option: Lift up the bottom of the pedestal and tuck in a hydrangea bloom,white feathers, etc. so the base has more interest.

Monogram mania continues. Combine yours and your true love’s initials in a font you adore. (His first initial on left, the shared last initial in center, her first initial on right) Print out and wrap around little votive cups. Intersperse with other votives that have been wrapped in sonnets, poetry, bible verses or other meaningful quotes.

Print your monogram on an overhead transparency sheet. Project the image onto a homemade banner you’ve affixed to the wall. Yards of flannel backed vinyl tablecloth fabric from the fabric store is perfect for this project as is heavy felt. Trace the monogram on the banner. Fill in with paint, outlining in a darker shade or black.Sew or hot glue a rod pocket at the top and insert a pvc pipe or closet rod. Add finials if desired. Attach wire to rod to hang on wall or on another pole you’ve secured in a Xmas tree stand or patio umbrella base. This looks fabulous hanging behind the head table at the reception or as a focal point by the cake table.

I have decided to love you. Not because you are lovable – although you sort of are. But because the Living God makes it very clear that I must. The reason this is difficult for me is that we differ so greatly on the issue of life. Many years ago, I believed the lie of abortion and have endured the consequences ever since. Additionally, there is no intellectual integrity in resolving the issue this way: “I think it’s wrong for me, but I can’t tell some one else what to do.” If something is wrong, it’s wrong. And, baby, abortion is wrong. So, that’s why I never even considered voting for you. No hard feelings, I hope.

In my attitudes, in my speech, I hope you’ll see love. Love being patient, kind, not easily angered, rejoicing in the truth…all that love is as outlined in 1Corinthians 13. Praying about all this, about our country, about you, our new president, I think God said this:

“Remember, it’s LOVE that wins people to me.”

He’s right:

-Norma McCorvey (the Jane Roe in Roe v Wade) falling to her knees, acknowledging her need for a savior, and accepting Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth & the Life after being loved consistently, irrationally, and deeply by her bible believing neighbors.

-Me, taking my first pathetic step of faith towards a righteous God only after He demonstrated His goodness to me for YEARS through the loving actions of His people

-The Venbergs packing up lock, stock & barrel & living amongst the people of Doh- rejoicing in the one soul God brought into fellowship with Himself.

It’s his LOVE. The Living God is willing and able to change hearts.

How beautiful to think that our first black president is surely here in this place and in this time because of the passion and obedience of the Christians who began the civil rights movement. God’s love transforms people, situations, the world. I believe this. I’ve tried to guard my heart, to hold something back because the disappointment of (what I perceive to be) unanswered prayer hurts way too much. God has shown me this is a lack of faith and is wrong. Hence, I’m done with that B.S. I either have to believe God or get out of the game. I’m in. I am praying for you, Mr. President. I’m praying you will have a miraculous change of heart about the Pro Life issue – so much so that you gets all sorts of crap from the left. But I am praying you don’t weaken, that your gifts of persuasive speech will be used for God’s glory and the preservation of life.

I am praying that God’s Spirit will move in a mighty way amongst His people. I pray God will raise up a Daniel or a Joseph who has the king’s ear – a man or woman who follows God and will have influence with our president. I pray that this trusted man or woman of God will remain strong – no compromise and full of God’s Spirit and love.

Call me on it when I am discouraged or unloving – and it will happen. And I might get annoyed for a second – but do it anyway. I want to love by His power and have that love matter for the Kingdom.

Love you,

Susan

“It is fitting that we should set apart a peaceful season before the day has quite

ended… to leap from day to day like a mad hunter beating the bushes is an omen

of being delivered over to destruction. But the solemn pause, the deliberate

consideration, these are means of grace and signs of an indwelling life….

Each evening it would be well to traverse the boundaries of the day and take

note of all that it has brought and all that it has seen.”

There. No grand, sweeping, idealistic new year’s resolution for me! I’m old enough to admit the best changes , the lasting changes, come when I approach them with a humble “one day at a time” effort. This year, the mindfulness is about priorities. It boils down to a phrase heard from my wise pastor, John Wile, years ago, “Remember – people, not projects.” Amen. Seems like a no brainer, n’est ce pas? After all, most of these projects are to help people, right?Sometimes, one may get so wrapped up in one’s vision, so swept away by the magnificence of the concept, that it doesn’t become about the people anymore. In fact, the people might feel any or all the following: puzzled, abandoned, neglected, overwhelmed, inadequate, disillusioned, or lonely. How would I know this, you ask? Well, let’s just say I should have started living mindfully years ago – please don’t make me go there – to the dark place, the place of knocking myself out and then feeling under appreciated & put out even though NO ONE asked me to construct an entire rainforest for a two day church event.

And then there’s the slaving over a hot stove….. It’s not pretty . I’m anything but proud of the times I proceeded in doing what I thought people needed without stopping to think or even ask what it was they wanted. So, more focused on others. More listening. More reflecting on what works, what is pleasing to God. More grace & mercy. More love.

Quick idea: Take a minute to write a quick note – just a sentence or two about your family time together this past holiday. Then tuck it inside the last Christmas box, or even your stocking, before storage. It’s a simple thing that you’ll be so touched to read in the years to come – an unexpected grace note – like finding a five dollar bill in the pocket of a rarely worn jacket (Am I the only one out there that purposefully leaves money in my pockets so I’ll have a happy surprise? Oh well) Those little moments joy make life richer, more meaningful.

(sans bickering or bribery) there was a cup of coffee and roses by your bedside as you woke, you received recognition for your brilliant contibutions at work, oh and it wasn’t a dream: the scale really does say you lost 10 pounds this week. Doesn’t sound familiar? Me neither – except for the coffee by the bed part. My contentment is so easily elusive, it’s embarassing. Friends will tell you I can rarely go to the “Parade of Homes” because it messes with my contentment. A concerned friend once took me aside and said gently, “Susan, there is so much beauty in the world. You don’t have to OWN all of it.” But I WANT to!!!!

I also envy my sister’s weight loss, my mom’s discipline, my cancer survivor uncle’s sportscar (c’mon it’s a Jag) and don’t even get me started on Christmas letters. Yeah, that’s right. I’m worse than you. Pray for my sorry soul.

Deliverance from discontent- restless, vague yearning- is not out of our control. REPEAT: Contentment can be yours right this second. It is a choice. Just like any other quality worth having (patience, kindness, peace, perseverence) contentment is attained by reclaiming ground you have unwittingly surrendered. It’s is a state of mind you can cultivate. Once cultivated, contentment becomes a gorgeous, vigorous vine whose leaves and tendrils easily smother envy, greed or anxiety. Here’s the only process I’ve found to be effective against my own particular brand of uber-discontent:

1. As the bitchy, grumbling half-thoughts swirl around like Pigpen’s dust cloud, stop. Grab onto them. Consciously listen to the backbeat of attitudes you’re building your day upon. Examine them in the light of the truth of who you are and what you already possess. Admit it: these feelings aren’t because people aren’t measuring up or because you live in such a disappointing world. You are chosing your response and your choice right now is pissiness and pouting. How’s that workin for ya?

2. Count your blessings. That’s right, Pollyanna, number two is find something to be glad about.You live in America. You have running water. Your problem is too much food,not too little. You can read. You look great is hot pink. You mix a mean mojito. Your grandma really loved you. It’s true. You were the apple of her eye.

3. Acknowledge our culture is actively campaigning to make you unhappy with the way things are. We are CONSUMERS. The world as we know it will collapse if we stop believing in the power of the next best thing. All media (read: almost any connection to the outside world) carries the message of what we need, want or should have. Remember Bill Murray in “What About Bob?” “I need, I need, I want, I want….” Don’t fall for it, sister. When there truly is something new, revolutionary and necessary, your parents will clip the article out of the Wall Street Journal and mail it to you. Or mine will and I’ll let you know.

4. Take heart. My mantra of security and peace is found in the best place ever. The Bible’s books of Psalms and Proverbs. I found my mantra a decade ago when it seemed like everyone and their brother was finding amazing financial opportunities. Additionally, I was afraid some one would have my same business ideas and make a fortune while I was in the foxhole of motherhood. These words of life come from Psalm 16: “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance!” After I recite these words, it’s all over. My heart quiets. I can rest knowing all will be well and what’s mine will be mine at the right time.

5. Challenge God. Bring your desires, hopes and dreams before Him. It’s ok if you’re still crazy hungry and dazed by desire. My plea usually goes like this: “Lord, please. Either give this to me or take these desires away from me….right now! If this is your plan for me, your dream for me, give me patience and a sense of Your timing. If it isn’t save me from myself!”

I don’t want to close without a word or two about ambition and drive. These are both admirable attributes! We are creative beings hardwired to find satisfaction in accomplishments and achievements. When you are inspired and excited about an idea (painting a room, starting a business, having a baby, taking a vacation) go for it! Only first check yourself with two questions:

1. Is this thing/idea at home within the boundaries of time, energy and cash I currently have? If yes, start painting/planning/kissing/packing!! If no, it may be a timing issue, a future goal, or the seed of a different,

do-able idea.

2. What am I expecting this thing to do for me? Am I hoping I will be happier and more content once this happens? Ironically, if you answer “yes” to this, you probably should put the brakes on. Remember, it isn’t the thing or circumstance that is the source of our contentment and happiness, it is an inward disposition you can choose right now. As John Candy told his Jamaican bobsled team in the movie Cool Runnings,

“If you’re not happy before the gold medal, you won’t be happy with the gold medal.”

Don’t be at the mercy of that flitting Disney bluebird. Grab hold of your mind and spirit. Give that gorgeous vine of contentment plenty of space to ramble free over the vulnerabilities and rough spots you’ve fought for ages. And when you catch that vine in bloom – pure bliss. Ahhhh.